Trauma & Pattern Release: Breaking the Cycle
My trauma story doesn’t start with just one event—it’s a web of pain that began early.
At 15, a so-called friend forced me into a situation I never wanted, crossing a line I can never uncross. But even before that, the ground was already shaky—growing up with a dad who shouted, raged, and made the house feel like a war zone, being bullied, feeling hated, feeling like I was never enough. Abuse, aggression, betrayal—from all sides, it just kept coming.
It all adds up.
There isn’t one trauma that defined me. It’s the accumulation—the constant drip of pain, the feeling of being worthless, a joke to everyone. That’s what trauma does: it strips away self-worth, layer by layer, until you start believing you deserve it.
I didn’t always see it.
For years, I wondered why I was never happy, why depression followed me everywhere, why nothing ever felt good enough. Even when I was “doing the work,” something was always missing. The truth is, I was carrying all that pain, all those patterns, and they shaped every part of my life.
The turning point came with my twin flame.
Meeting her cracked me open. I could see her pain, and it reflected my own right back at me. For the first time, I realized I didn’t have to keep carrying this suffering. I saw that none of these people, none of these situations, actually defined who I am. They shaped me, sure—but I could choose to become someone new.
That’s when I started breaking the patterns.
I began to notice how certain triggers, feelings, and reactions kept looping back to old wounds. Instead of letting them control me, I started using my tools: breathwork, journaling, cold plunges, pushing myself to do the things I was told I couldn’t do.
I stopped letting the outside world set my boundaries. I decided I wouldn’t live by anyone else’s limitations. I pushed myself so far that even in my dreams, I started to fly. I became more than just a survivor—I became my own person.
It’s lonely sometimes.
Breaking the cycle means leaving a lot behind—old friends, old beliefs, old versions of myself. But I wouldn’t trade it for anything, because this is what finally broke the trauma loops. I’m not just getting by anymore. I’m living, healing, and becoming.
If you’re stuck in your own cycle, know this:
You don’t have to stay there. The pain isn’t your destiny. You have the power to choose, to feel, to heal, and to become more than you ever thought possible.